Kids are naturally curious and want to explore the world around them. In doing so, they may bounce around a bit. As they grow we want them to improve their ability to focus on a topic or an activity so they can learn to develop their analytical ability and executive functioning.
How do you help your child focus? Understand the big ideas that drive your daily practices. Screen time should be minimal, give them plenty of rest, they should have hobbies in their lives that they enjoy and chores around the house. You should be reading with them at least ½ hour per day.
Most children’s ability to concentrate is driven by the habits in their lives that force them to focus even when they don’t realize they are doing it. Kids develop their ability to focus when they are playing games, doing chores, building Lego’s, reading, and making up stories. You can put systems in place that will help them engage in activities like this to grow their ability to concentrate.
Structure
The daily events a child experiences have a great impact on their ability to focus. The child who wakes up at an appropriate time (the science says school should not start before 8.30am), eats a healthy breakfast, enjoys a calm and uneventful trip to school (no screaming and rushing out the door), attends school all day every day, has a plan after school (homework, sports practice, chores), experiences a settled dinner with family, then gets ready for bed and reads with their parents (no screen time) is more likely to develop their ability to focus than the child who misses out on one or more of these things. Unfortunately for them, these factors are largely out of their control. It is up to the parents to put the structure and systems in place to give the child boundaries that will promote healthy intellectual development.
How Do I Help My Child Focus?
Helping your child focus starts with putting the big picture systems and structures in place so they will have more opportunities in their lives to focus with fewer distractions. Think about the things in your child’s life that pull them away. Is it TV? Tablets? Phones? Perhaps it’s something else. Whatever it is, their exposure to it needs to be reduced and replaced with outlets that are healthier for brain development, like the pursuit of their interests. The earlier this is done, the better. Strong routines help to develop positive outcomes for children. However, if you try an activity and don’t see the results you want right away you shouldn’t worry. It may simply mean they don’t like that activity. Take the time to try something else and do your best to bond with them in the process.
Reading
Using reading as a tool to promote focus can be very effective, especially if you start early. When you read with your child consistently you start a routine to which they become accustomed. The benefits of reading tend to compound on themselves the more you do it. Think about when you read a book multiple times… Each time you read it you notice something new, right? It’s the same with kids, but on a smaller scale. They may love their favorite books because of the characters or the scenery, but if you work closely with them you can help them find something new to love. When you come back to the book the next night you can ask the child to show you what they remember. After some repetition, they will remember those new observations and begin to recall them just like they recall other parts of the story. When the parents use deliberate strategies like this that are designed to bring the child along slowly, they can enjoy the reading experience together while building the confidence of the child to focus and the confidence of the parent to facilitate the process.
Envision what using this strategy could look like after using it every night after just two weeks! Each day you began to notice the child starting to remember more and more of the information (maybe of the text or the pictures – both are great), but you didn’t present the information in a big and intimidating way. You broke it down into small manageable parts and allowed the child to take in the information slowly. You spent more time focusing on building your relationship with them as you taught them so they learned to trust you and enjoyed working with you. This is where you want to find yourself. Moving them along slowly but steady (things may not always move forward and that’s OK) and building your bond with them so they like connecting with you when you work together. In the long run, that will be more important and beneficial.
Games
Playing games are a great way to help a child focus on the task at hand and have fun while doing it. You could try concentration games. I personally play Kanoodle and Q-bitz with my kids. You could also try matching games, sequencing games, puzzles, or checkers. As your child grows in their ability, chess is a great way to build concentration. In fact, there is solid research out there on how kids who play chess have a greater ability to focus and think analytically. Whichever game you choose to play with them, make sure they have several opportunities each week to play. Time and consistency are key contributors to growth.
Play
Kids learn life skills through play. It is evolutions preparation for life. If you can put systems in place that enable your child to practice the skills they will need to succeed using play, they will benefit from your efforts later in life. Set time aside, at least a few times a week with no distractions and give them time to play by themselves, with their siblings, or with friends. Most games they play that require them using their imaginations are beneficial. If they are by themselves, Lego’s are also a good way to get them thinking, creating, and having fun. This is another activity that you may need to start small and build from there, but it can be worth it. My daughter can sit in her room alone for hours building her Lego’s. When we started, it was more like 5-10 minutes. The road was hard to get her where she is, but it was worth it.
If you have trouble setting things up, check out Let Grow. They were founded by leading social scientists with the belief that eliminating natural play and independence is harmful to our kids. Their mission is to push back on overprotection and restore childhood resilience. One small way they aim to do that is to help kids get back to playing outside together.
Sports
There are many benefits of developing focus through sports. Your child will be in an environment where teamwork, individual work, focusing on the task at hand, and following directions all work in tandem to create success. The best part is they will not have to worry too much about how it all fits together because they will be immersed in the experience. If your primary goal is to develop focus, you should carefully consider which one would be best for your child. Consider sports that prompt frequent activity and engagement to ensure they are always a part of the action. This should help with developing their focus. Some sports to think about include; swimming, tennis, gymnastics, wrestling, soccer, and martial arts. As your child grows into their new interest pay attention to what they respond positively to. You may need to use those motivators in other areas of their lives.
Music
Some parents say that music was the vehicle that changed everything for their child’s ability to focus. The brain research on music and focus is strong. It also helps with analytical thinking and problem-solving. Percussion or woodwind instruments can be helpful if your child is very active. Brass instruments can benefit kids who need a little time to pick up something new because it does not require them to coordinate as many moving parts as some other instruments.
Chores
Building a sense of responsibility helps to build focus. Remember that the way in which you have your child do chores is just as important as the chores that you choose for (or with) them. It’s OK to remind them or help them stay organized, but it’s not OK to let them slide if they don’t do their jobs. If your child has a list of weekly chores allow them to mark off each one as they complete them.
Completion of a task brings with it a sense of pride and accomplishment that you can emphasize to create more motivation in the child to become responsible. Don’t add more to the bottom of the list once they start checking off the items at the top.
Chores give your child a sense of ownership and responsibility around the house and lets them know that their contribution really matters because if they don’t finish their chores, something doesn’t get done that should have. Use this as an opportunity to talk to them about the natural consequences of not taking responsibility in life. Have a consequence in place if they don’t complete their chores and make sure you enforce it. Then move on. Every day is a new chance to learn.
Diet
Diet plays a major role in a child’s ability to focus. Children need to eat healthy food to function properly. Keep them away from sugary foods and feed them more greens and you will probably see a child who is more energetic with less ups and downs throughout the day. This is another easy category for you to help your child make gains. Start to cycle out the unhealthy foods. As you do that alongside the other items on this list you should be pleased with the progress you see.
Devices
Turn them off! Many of the apps on devices are distractions and promote short attention spans by encouraging the child to click from one thing to another without prompting them to really think about what they are doing. Both Bill Gates and Steve Jobs famously raised their kids in tech-free environments. Research is now starting to indicate that smartphone use can be damaging to the brains of young people and should be limited or avoided. Embracing low-tech parenting may be the quickest thing you can do to help develop your child’s ability to focus.
Bringing It All Together
Don’t try to do too many of these at once. My approach is built around the long game and staying focused on the kind of adult you want your child to be. You are taking the small steps today that will make a big difference for them later. Start with one of the items on the list and spend more time growing your bond with them as you help them develop their skill set. That’s what they really need you for. As long as they know you will be there for them and be good to them, you should see the progress come with time. Then you can add other activities when you know the time is right.
Related Questions
How do I help my child concentrate?
Provide meaningful opportunities to engage together in activities that they enjoy. Use that time to see how they respond to certain elements of the activity, so that you can perhaps use that information later to keep the child motivated in another activity. Drastically reduce or eliminate screen time.
How do I help my child who is struggling in school?
Be sure you are working with them as a support. You want to be someone they believe they can rely on and will come to if they need help. Have an open conversation with them to figure out where to start to tackle the problem. Then contact the teacher and have a conversation with them about what they are seeing in the classroom.